Lost My Mind
by The 2D Ninja
Summary: What is 2D really singing about in 'El Mañana? 2Nu songfic


A/N: Aaaah, I forgot to add this before. Well, I suppose that's what happens when you write a story at 2 in the morning. So yeah. I wrote this while listening to 'El Manana' on repeat, so for the best effect I suggest you listen to it as well while reading it. Please read and review. I love getting feedback and constructive criticism. Oh, and I apologize in advance if there are any errors in the lyrics. There is an ongoing discussion as to what they actually are, but in this story, this is what I believe them to be. :)

_Disclaimer: I don't own Gorillaz or the song, Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett do, though the story is mine._

* * *

I read somewhere once that the real meaning of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If that's true, then when it comes to Noodle, I'm freaking mad.

_Summer don't know me no more  
__Eager man, that's all  
_

In the months following the _'__El Mañana' _incident, I spent almost all of my time searching for her. I looked through the entire wreckage of the island and the surrounding area, desperately hoping for a sign that she was okay. But I knew that some part of me, deep down, didn't want me to find her, just in case all that was left was a mangled corpse.

_Summer don't know me  
__He just let me love in myself  
__Cause I do know, Lord, from you that  
__Just died, yeah__  
_

Without her, I simply fell apart. I wandered around like a zombie for weeks, not really searching for a destination. I had no appetite and I couldn't close my eyes without seeing her face, so sleep was out of the question. I lost interest in everything, even my keyboards and zombie movies. My entire body just shut down without my lil' love to keep me upright.

_I saw that day,  
Lost my mind  
Lord, I'm fine  
Maybe in time,  
__You'll want to be mine  
_

I hadn't even wanted her to do the video in the first place, though it wasn't supposed to end like that. Noodle was supposed to parachute off the island, and to safety, right before it crashed. Then she would go off on whatever adventure she had planned while the fans thought she was dead or missing or something. But something went wrong. Horribly, and utterly wrong. I'll never forget that feeling I got when we went to get her after we had finished filming and found nothing. Nothing but a few pieces of hair. The feeling as though my chest had collapsed. I couldn't breathe or speak, my heart stopped beating. Time seemed to slow down. I felt like I was going to puke or pass out or both.  
That was the moment my world started to crumble down around me.

_Don't stop the buck when it comes  
It's the dawn, you'll see  
Money won't get there  
Ten years passed tonight, you'll flee  
_

After that, Gorillaz fell apart. We all sort of went our separate ways. Noodle was gone, and with her went the peace that held us together. We started fighting a lot. Russel went insane; he was angry all the time and actually started getting violent. He broke Murdoc's nose three times before he finally stormed out the front doors of Kong. And after what Murdoc had shouted after him, I was pretty sure he wouldn't come back. I planned on leaving shortly after; since there was no way in hell I was going to live alone with Murdoc. So my plan was to go to the U.S. for awhile, to try and forget about Noodle and Gorillaz and move on. And so that's what I did. From what I heard, Murdoc stayed behind at Kong for awhile, and then disappeared himself.

_If you do that,  
I'll be someone  
To find you  
_

Even though Gorillaz was over, I still didn't give up on finding her. I was determined to see my Princess again. So, I kept looking. I checked newspaper articles and even went back to the crash site once, though it was only once; it was too painful to be there, near all the memories and the reminders of my life with Gorillaz. I still thought about Murdoc and Russel from time to time, wondering about what they were doing and where they were living. Then my mind would wander back to Noodle, and I'd be reminded about my duty to find her and be thrown back into my frantic search that seemed to go on forever.

_I saw that day,  
Lost my mind  
Lord, I'm fine  
Maybe in time  
You'll want to be mine  
_

I knew I was obsessed with finding her, I just didn't care. I traveled all the way to Japan in hopes that she had come back to her home country. But, Japan is a large place for one man to search. Even if she was there, it became obvious that I wouldn't be able to locate her. Part of me wanted to give up. Cut all ties to anything related to Noodle, so that I could forget about her and move on with my life. However, I was sure I couldn't live without her. If I gave up on her, I'd have nothing left to live for.  
I know I'll find her someday. And I'll keep searching until that day comes.

_I promise you, Noodle. I will see you again. I swear it._

* * *

A/N(2): Does anyone want a sequel to this? Let me know and I might just write one. ;)_  
_


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